


He's Not Real

by gothling14



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 06:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothling14/pseuds/gothling14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's pov. The game was just a game and now it's over. No Alternia, no Jack, no Lord English. <br/>No Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Not Real

It felt real. It all felt so… Karkat. 

If only…

Stupid, stupid John he’s not real. It was a game. He’s not real.

Fuck.

There was never a boy living on another planet who loved shitty movies, and argued with himself, and called you fuck ass. He didn't hate come onto you when you first met from his point in time, even though you weren't a homosexual, and he didn't start feeling differently over time. In no way shape or form did he run to hug you when you arrived on the meteor, babbling about how annoying it was to watch sloppy make outs for three years and not get any himself. He didn't kiss you there.

He didn't make you realize you didn't care what sort of sexual you were, as long as it meant more Karkat Vantas in your life.

Because he’s not real, John. He was never real. He never got mad at you, or talked to you, or walked on a planet worlds from your own called Alternia with all his friends, dreaming of being a leader one day. 

He never constantly had to be bitching at Dave, or chatting to Jade or Rose about troll romance systems. He never laughed at you when you told him you didn't like Nick Cage any more. He never reached God tier and you never had that amazing conversation where you talked about blood colours. You ever convinced him not to hate himself.

But you wish you had. 

Fuck, John pull yourself together. Stop sitting here in the corner of your room not covered with clowns and crying over someone who isn't real. Is Rose crying over Kanaya, or Dave for Terezi? No, because they know it was a video game, that we played over the course of a few years ‘cause it took forever to complete. 

So stop! Why can’t I stop? Karkat is not real. He's fictional. A fake. Like a made up boyfriend, the way dream guys are. 

So why does it feel so wrong? And stupid! This is stupid! We won the game, they all came back with us. Aradia and Rufioh and Dirk and Eridan and Roxy and Vriska and Karkat. Everyone can back, so why aren't they here? It was all fake but it feels like they’re meant to be here.

“Maybe ‘cause I am you total nook whiff.”

Blue eyes shot up from tucked up knees in the corner of a dark bedroom. Black messy hair falling haphazardly over the tops of his glasses frames. Mouth open and trembling slightly, as two completely endearing buck teeth jutted just into view. 

“Has your under-kissed mouth flap or whatever you humans call it lost the ability to properly function in any sort of useful or productive way that might move forward this amazing and awkward situation in any conceivable way. Or are you just pleased to see me.”

And for the very first time, technically anyway, John Egbert kissed his boyfriend.


End file.
